apollymi: Manic look Ninth Doctor, text reads "I solemnly swear I'm up to no good" (DW**9th Doctor: Up to no good)
[personal profile] apollymi
Just when I think we've got our heads above water again, something comes crashing back down to change all that.

Because somehow, despite working over 70 hours in the last two weeks, [personal profile] katsuko's IKEA paycheck take-home was less than $300. Hell, it was barely $200. We needed that money to pay rent. In fact, we'd been hoping to get rent paid on time or early this month. Instead, now, we're going to have to wait until the 4th when my check goes in and hope that she makes enough at the restaurant to make up the difference.

And I still have to pay another $110 to the IRS as soon as possible. They want it within seven days (I'm not sure if that's seven business days or just seven days) in order for me to keep my part of the contract. But the other part of the IRS said that they will be sending me a letter saying it has to be paid in full within 30 days. And I just don't know. It's ridiculous.

But in addition to our nearly $1000 rent payment, I also have to come up with that $110 for the IRS. Plus $110 in late fees that will be assessed because we have to pay after the 3rd now. And I just have to hope that I have all this together by the 9th, because on the 10th, they evict us. Plus I have to pay for our storage building (another $70) and renter's insurance ($25). And then there's the Verizon phone bill ($214). But at least I managed to get the internet and car insurance paid before this.

I'm regretting going to the eye doctor, though. Yes, I didn't have any more contacts and, yes, [personal profile] katsuko's glasses were six years old, but we need that money now. I don't regret the money I spent towards getting Roo taken care of, even the $90 for them to make a paw print impression for us, because that needed to be done, but that was a huge $400 bill. Because, yes, cremation is apparently expensive as hell, but I wanted my boy to be treated right.

I'm just out of ideas. Obviously, I'm also out of money. I'm about to the point of trying to sell plasma for money. I'm already going to be selling a lot of my DVDs and BluRays for money and hoping I get a decent bit for them. I'm also probably going to be selling my XBox 360.

I'm just... This is all too, too much. I'm mentally and emotionally and physically exhausted. I'm at the point of possibly having to say no conventions this year. I might have to tell Mist not to come visit because we won't be able to afford anything while she's here, if I'm crunching the numbers right. And I might need to cancel my doctor's appointment for next month, the one that's supposed to tell me while I've had a period last three and a half weeks, go down to spotting for a week and a half, then start again ten days ago -- and is still ongoing.

I'm at my wit's end.

trying to keep up

Jul. 26th, 2017 02:06 pm
sporky_rat: E from The Incredibles looking vaguely displeased (NO CAPES)
[personal profile] sporky_rat

My former boss Adam (he was a good boss) has a podcast about Game of Thrones. Since he's the one that handed me the first book when Brent when to Utah in 2012, I started listening. (The exchanged was more or less like this: 'Brent's going to Utah. You're going to go a little barmy. Here, have something to obsess over that's super long and super detailed so I don't have to fire you because you can't focus.' 'Uh. Okay?' Weekend after I read the entire book at Crown List, I asked for the second book. And then I bought the entire five book set for my Nook. Yeah. I have a soft spot for these books because of that.) It's been really fun to listen to Adam and his fellow nerds talk about Game of Thrones.

I have a horrible miserable wretched sinus infection. Not bacterial, I'm not having the usual bacterial issues. Meds don't tend to do much for me anyway on a sinus infection (unless it's something to help things drain) so I'm waiting to see just how bad it's going to get before I hit the doctor up.

I think I found my copy of Adobe Illustrator and I did find my copy of Paint Shop Pro. (Super excited about that second one because PSP does much better on a complete color swap than my copy of Photoshop (the original 7.0, yo)). Hope it still work on Win10.

Brent and I have also been watching Battlestar Galactica. We've gotten to the fun part of Apollo versus Apollo! MUAHAHA.

more NiF thoughts

Jul. 26th, 2017 10:30 am
momijizukamori: Animated icon reading 'X: My Fandom makes cookies gay'. Panels are cookies decorated like X characters (X | My fandom...)
[personal profile] momijizukamori
-I have five episodes left and am stuck at work right now. The anticipation is killing me

-There is a character/ship trope that is like, one of my bulletproof kinks which is people with more loyalty and devotion than self-preservation instincts, and this is basically every ship and protagonist in this show.

-This show is basically begging for some variation on the Canadian Shack fic, please don't disappoint me here fandom.
apollymi: Giles holding a blue cup of tea, text reads "cuppa tea" (BtVS**Giles: Cuppa tea)
[personal profile] apollymi
Well, I've officially broken my 50,000 word goal. That's a good thing at least. I got out Write or Die, so I have a nice and high word count for the day, so I can go to bed at a semi-decent hour. I'm still working on the unofficial goal of 65,000 words. I'm not completely sure that I'll reach that, but I'm going to try.

Work was work. We had some computer issues and some difficult testers and all, but I made it through the day.

Roo was ready to pick up this afternoon, and [personal profile] katsuko did it, since she was already off work and I still had a couple hours left. We have him with Aya and Jimi. His paw print is on the mantle piece with Jimi's as well. That's significantly harder.

I found out the other day that part of my job is in a bit of jeopardy because I still owe the IRS money. Specifically, I still owe them $166 from 2013, money I thought was already paid. And after the rather huge bill with Roo, nearly $400, it's also money that I don't have. I have seven days from receiving the letter to have it paid in full or in a payment plan or risk losing that part of my job.

And yeah, that's the daily freakout.
apollymi: Carl holding bottle of holy water, text from Monty Python & the Holy Grail (VH**Carl: Holy hand grenade)
[personal profile] apollymi
Well, I finally managed a good writing day. Granted, it was all on one story, but that doesn't really matter so much as words actually happening, right?

Work today was... work. I made it through with a minimum of issues and generally nice testers. Everyone inquired how Roo was since I left early to take him to the vet, and everyone seemed genuinely sorry that he had passed. That was nice, I guess.

I guess I don't really have anything else to add for today. I've got things to do and words to write... but I also have sleep to get, and that's taking priority right now.

Good night, all.
apollymi: Don Schanke with a paper, looking very unimpressed, no text (FK**Schanke: Schanke is unimpressed)
[personal profile] apollymi
I feel like I'm almost caught up with where I need to be for sleep, except that I'm about to start back to work tomorrow, which means a distinct lack of sleep again.

That isn't to say that I haven't spent the day drifting off at the odd moment, including at Panera Bread, but at least I haven't felt as drained as I usually do. I do, however, have the distinct impression that the weekend went by without me.

And I know that's because I spent the whole weekend drifting by in a sort of haze. Honestly, I'm a little bit still there. I keep looking for Roo on the end of the couch or Jimi snuggled up next to me. I feel like I'm constantly having to be the brave one and not let myself break down in tears... aside from the panic attack I had on the phone with Mom when I first got home on Friday and found Roo.

I hate having to feel like I need to be the strong one. I would love the opportunity to break down. I'm tired of being strong. But I can't seem to get past that block in my brain that says I have to be. I can't stop hearing Oyaji's voice in my head every time I start crying, calling them "crocodile tears" or telling me to grow up or something like that. It's not healthy, but that's where my brain is at.

Anyway, I need to go crawl into my bed. 5:30 gets here awfully early, after all.
apollymi: Captain America in the middle of rubble, no text (Aveng**Cap: Devestation)
[personal profile] apollymi
I can't say that I feel much of anything today. I'm numb, is probably the best way to say it. I'm numb and emotionally void. I'm flying mostly on autopilot last night and today, and I just don't even know what to do about it.

I'm just tired and numb and void. I've got nothing in me. I'm trying to keep on keeping on, and I'm not sure how much of that I've got left in me.

Because we already had the appointments, both [personal profile] katsuko and I had our eyes checked today. She needed new glasses desperately, and my last pair of contact lenses ripped on Friday. Her glasses are being made, and I'll have my contacts in a week or so. I have a trial pair for now, which is better than nothing, I suppose.

We have had a Boo hanging out with us every time we're still for more than a few minutes at the time. She's not on the furniture with us while we're writing or anything, but she's hanging in the same room as us, which is new and different and definitely not unwelcome.

I keep worrying that she's going to get lonesome on her own. She's always had at least one other kitty around. I'm just not sure that [personal profile] katsuko and I are both ready for a new cat. I'm not sure if we're recovered from losing Jimi and now, after losing Roo, it's all so raw. But I also feel like we need to do what's best for her and think about if she needs a companion.

But like I told [personal profile] katsuko, no decisions right now, not while we're not at our best. Boo will forgive us that much at least, if she does feel lonely. We need a little time... and we need a chance to recover financially from the unexpected cremation cost. Because that was nearly $400 we did not have to spare.

And yeah, I'm just null and void. I'm numb beyond meaning of the word. I just don't care anymore. I can't make myself feel anything.

Nirvana in Fire

Jul. 22nd, 2017 01:50 pm
momijizukamori: Green icon with white text - 'I do believe in phosphorylation! I do!' with a string of DNA basepairs on the bottom (Default)
[personal profile] momijizukamori
Some assorted thoughts which I will try to keep spoiler-free? No guarantees about stuff in the comments though. I'm about halfway through and oh my god this series is so good.

-Jingrui is like, the obligatory precious cinnamon roll too good for this sinful world, too pure.

-I can't think of the last time I watched something live-action where men were allowed to show this dynamic range of feelings, both physically and verbally. And even in anime, dudes crying is usually only at the emotional climax of stuff, so it's really nice to have a range of sorrow and regret and longing and joy regularly shown from a variety of characters.

-Likewise, it's really great to have a huge variety of women of various roles and backgrounds and motivation who get plenty of screentime - there's definitely a sense that even if their positions are different than those of the men, they still have a great deal of power of various forms

-By which I mean I would let Nihaung use me as a doormat, what a fucking badass.

-Commander Meng does not have an ounce of guile in his body, and it's sort of adorable, particularly after he was introduced as such a serious badass.

-Basically every interaction between Lin Shu and his household is wonderful and precious. It's really clear how much they all care about him, even if they don't know how to keep him from literally working himself to death.

-EVERYTHING IS SO PRETTY. Comes with the 'historical drama' territory, I guess, but god, some of the hair ornaments are to die for.

Summer tv indulgence

Jul. 22nd, 2017 11:52 am
castalia: (Fan by bravecows)
[personal profile] castalia
Is anyone else watching Blood Drive on Syfy? This is so not my usual type of show - I've never been a fan of grindhouse/exploitation stuff or anything like that - but I tuned in for Colin Cunningham and ended up really impressed by the quality of what they're doing. It starts out very silly and over the top and gratuitous but quickly starts to have interesting things to say about corporate greed, social mores, and looooots of meta about production companies and the entertainment industry. Plus, it's seriously funny.

It also looks good, especially considering the low tv budget they were working with. Excellent makeup, costuming, cinematography, practical effects, etc. So far they've done send-ups of everything from death race style films to zombies to cannibals to Mad Max wasteland type themes.

Most of the fannish squee is on Twitter, and I only have one other friend watching it afaik. Anyone else? Hannibal crowd, you might like this, though it's about as opposite in tone as you can get. Possibly more graphic, though, so if you don't like that then stay far away. I'm actually surprised by what they get away with, considering this isn't HBO or Showtime. Evidently you can say "fuck" on Syfy now, who knew.

quick crossover rec

Jul. 22nd, 2017 11:12 am
ratcreature: RatCreature smokes Crack (crack)
[personal profile] ratcreature
Yer a Wizard, Parser! by takumiismypatronus. Slash, Kent Parson/OMC (8586 words)
Check Please!/Harry Potter
This was such a fun crossover, and somewhat unusually for Harry Potter crossovers it is not AU for either canon.
apollymi: Black cat sitting on pumpkins, no text (Proud mom of a black cat) (Kitten: Black cat)
[personal profile] apollymi
I can't even. I've got nothing.

I came home from work today, to find Roo had passed away. We had him from the time he was six weeks old until he was eleven.

He had a bad bout of anemia from fleas last fall, though, and he never really recovered his health from it. Last night, he was a bit weak, a bit shaky in his back legs. This morning, he didn't want breakfast but nibbled on some dry food when I put it out. Given his low weight thanks to the anemia, we decided he needed a vet visit today. Neither of us could get off work on short notice, so we decided that, if I could get out on time, I would go get him and take him.

Well, I got off early, got [personal profile] katsuko dropped off at Mirko, and came to the house... to find he had passed away. Boo was right there with him, acting like she had been there for quite a while. Given how close they always were, I hope this means she was with him through it all.

I started 2017 with three cats. On 18 April, we lost Jimi. And today, 21 July, we lost Roo. Since we moved to these apartments, we've lost two cats. I'm trying not to see a pattern. I'm also trying not to see that I lost Jimi a week before I started at GSU and Roo a few days short of my 3 month anniversary there. I'm trying to tell myself it's bad luck piling on top of bad luck. Correlation, not causation.

But I cannot take much more of this. We only have Boo left. I'm thanking every deity I can think of that she's always been healthy as a horse, but then, until the flea anemia, so was Roo. I can't take any more of this. I just can't.
apollymi: Yuya counting on abacus, Kyo sleeping next to her, colored pink, no text (SDK**Kyo/Yuya: These soft moments)
[personal profile] apollymi
I'm not sure what I have to say for myself for today. It's been a very long day, mostly thanks to work. Let's just say that I'm going to be glad to have the weekend get here. I'm not sure that I'm going to have a day for catching up on sleep this time around, but I'm absolutely going to give it a try.

I'm nowhere near the words I needed for the day, and I'm too tired to keep trying. I'll do my best to catch up tomorrow during the day and in the evening.

And yeah, that's all I've got in me today. Later, all.

wow look at the time

Jul. 20th, 2017 11:00 am
sporky_rat: An Brown Owl from the Bunny Comic  (sca)
[personal profile] sporky_rat

I had no idea who Ed Sheeran was or why there was this giant kerfluffle over him being in Game of Thrones. Now I know who he is and what he looks like and y'know? Those are some adorably round cheeks and cute red hair. He can be eye-candy in Game of Thrones all season long. (No spoilers please, I actually haven't seen season seven yet, I'm just catching up on season six.)

Wow it's been since 29 May when I saw the nutria crossing the road that I last posted. I guess I did dream about posting about KWHSS! I SAW [personal profile] tatterpixie there!!!!! IT WAS AWESOME AND SHE HAD THE BESTEST SCRIBAL SET UP AND NOW I NEED ONE for heraldry, not scribery, because yeah, my art's pretty rough, but I can do straight lines for heraldry. HOWEVER I did get not too bad at painting pre-prints. And I can probably work on making a scroll out of the Mamman embroidery. I'm not a scribe. I'm a herald (even with a H!) but I can learn some stuff! (It will probably take a light board. My drawing skills are not really all that great, mostly because my brain-hand coordination isn't wonderful. Thanks, brain damage!)

KWHSS was SUPER. I got to see a lot of people that I'd wanted to see (and some that I'd only been able to talk to online). I CREATED A SERVICE AMOEBA. IT OOZES AGAIN IN THE DEBATABLE LANDS. AMUCK!
I also went up to Sneferu and told him that he was right and Bruce was wrong. Which yes, it's a big thing. But we do need a ruling on something from Cormac Wreath. Can pantheons be tertiary charges?

I have become the Heraldic Webminister for Gleann Abhann's CoH. I am looking forward to teaching my Ruby deputy all about transferring letters in OSCAR because that means she'll be super ready! We even have figured out a screen-sharing software for that.
Bloodstone Herald has been suggested for Webminister job. Probably because it's like trying to get blood out of a stone to get stuff turned in for that sort of thing. I think I'm going to make a pendant or something with glitter. Glitter vinyl, not actual pouring glitter.

I am considering making myself bookplates for my gaming hardbacks. Brent bought me a new one - 'Horror Adventures'. He also picked up the last part of 'Strange Aeons'. I have all six of them! YAY! But I need to stick nameplates in mine. I have a sticker maker and a lot of time. :D

MASTER CONALL MADE ME A BEAUTIFUL RENDITION OF MY NAME IN CYRILLIC. I can't wait to turn it into an SCA business card. I told a friend that I was looking forward to being one of those 'one name people', like Cher, Bono, those sort of people. I will be Skaia, Herald.

:D

apollymi: Faraday and Vasquez fighting back to back, no text (Mag7**Vasquez/Faraday: Shootout)
[personal profile] apollymi
I wish I knew why I'm so tired tonight. I keep drifting off where I'm sitting.

In fact, I actually just woke back up to type this. So... yeah... I'm gonna go lay down somewhere until it's time to go to work.

I'm not sure whether to say "good night" or "good morning" at this point.

Whoops.
apollymi: Hudson freaking out, text reads "Game over, man. Game over". I find this completely realisitc for the situation (Aliens**Hudson: Game over man! Game ove)
[personal profile] apollymi
Well, writing is coming along nicely again. I did manage over 2100 words today, so that's a good thing. I spent a lot of time researching stuff for this section of story, which mostly involves porn and also BDSM websites and stores. I'm not going to get into the details and all here, because I'm tired and ready to go to bed.

Today was a day of assholes at work. We had one guy who had a 9 hour test scheduled come in late, so he started late. He got his full time allotted, because we have no way to deduct time for people pulling shit like that, so we ended up being half an hour late getting out today. We were 15 minutes late getting out last Friday. Now, granted, this Friday is meant to be MCAT tests, so if they all finish when they're supposed to, we should all get to leave early, which will be a nice change of pace. I like MCAT Fridays. I just wish they weren't on Fridays, so that I could actually enjoy them.

Anyway, yeah, sleep time now. It's late, and I am so ready to crash on something other than the living room couch. I would accept the couch in my bedroom, but my bed is sounding pretty damn appealing.

So... Good night, all.

(And yes, for the record, it is really hard to go from writing "Goodnight", as in Goodnight Robicheaux, to "good night", as in hoping everyone has a nice one. It feels stupid weird.)
apollymi: Future Trunks looking down and blushing, text reads "blush" (DBZ**Trunks: BLUSH!!!)
[personal profile] apollymi
I guess I really don't have anything to say for myself for today.

I went to work. I wrote. I tried not to let myself get too distracted with other shit when I'm trying to accomplish any of the above.

I am hoping that I'm not starting to get my annual sinus infection again. I'm all stuffed up, though, and my ears hurt when I bend over, so it's looking like that's pretty solid maybe. I'm going to try heading it off with some sinus medicine and see if that helps any.

And yeah, that's about it for me for today. Later, all.
apollymi: Stitch looking shocked and dismayed, text reads "Oh noes!" (L&S**Stitch: Oh Noes!)
[personal profile] apollymi
I swear, I am actually getting sleep (somewhat) on these days when I'm not at work. Okay, I got sleep yesterday, but not so much today, since I drove [personal profile] katsuko into work. And since I can't quite seem to get drifted off tonight, I don't think I'll have a lot before going into work on Monday. Oh well, lots of caffeine will have to do the trick. I think I can handle that.

I'll have to handle it.

It was a fairly decent writing day, for all that I spent it bouncing between Panera Bread restaurants, drinking way too much hot tea and trying to stay awake. Granted, I didn't get as much writing done today as I should have. I didn't get enough done to make up for the couple of bad days I had Friday and yesterday. I never wrote less than a thousand words so far this month, but I've written less than my minimum of 1,613 (for 50k) and 2,097 (for 65k). I'll have at least managed that much tonight. I just won't have rebuilt my surplus that I had had going before.

I seem to have a bad case of snap, crackle, pop going with my shoulders and back. I had been going to take my laptop with me tomorrow to work, but I think I'm just going to stick to my regular purse and iPad instead. See if I can't cut down on my shoulder pain where I can.

And now, I haven't finished tonight's episode of Game of Thrones yet. No spoilers, please.

DOCTOR WHO NEW DOCTOR

Jul. 17th, 2017 12:38 am
hamimi_fk: Edward from Cowboy Bebop, smiling (Edward - Big smile)
[personal profile] hamimi_fk



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